A Little More Time

Last night, Mitch and I got to "room-in" at the hospital with little Emery. This was kind-of like our final exam where we spend the night with all of the monitors turned off and take care of her by ourselves. In most cases, this means that the baby is ready to come home the following day- not in our case. Of course I was super excited and spent the whole day getting ready for her to come home! When we got there, everything went great, up until her 2am feeding. Emery started having the same problem that she has been having- tiring out after only half of her bottle. She is required to have 45-50 ml. of milk or formula per feeding in order to gain enough weight to go home (an ounce a day). At first, she did great but once she took in 25 ml. she pooped out and went to sleep. I did every trick in the book to get her to eat but nothing worked. It was so disappointing to have to call the nurse and tell her that we needed help. Even the nurse couldn't wake up sleeping beauty so we let her sleep and waited until her 5am feeding to try again. At that feeding, she did a little better. It took her about 40 minutes (which is not ideal) to eat but she finally took in the bare minimum amount. At the 8am feeding, things went downhill. Once again, she would only take in about 25 ml. before she was out of breath and drifting to sleep.

Needless to say, we did not get to bring home our baby today. She is back in the NICU and has feeding tube #3 in her tiny little nose. I know that it would be bad if she came home and I couldn't get her to eat here, but I'm still so sad about it. This was the 2nd time that my hopes were up for her to come home and it didn't happen, but I also know that everything happens for a reason. She's only 4 pounds 14 ounces and technically she should still be in my belly for another 4 weeks. I'm very proud of the progress that she has made in the 2 weeks that she has been alive and from now on, I'm giving it up to God because this stress and worry is driving me crazy.